(this is an older post I retrieved from my myspace site dated August 8, 2007)
Comparing experience
Last night my husband and kids went to a friends house to visit, and watch Junior get his pe'a traditionally tapped (tattooed using primitive tools).
Samoan contemporary music played loudly in the background. Juniors wife Ulu brought food to the men as they laughed and concentrated all at once. All the men were sitting on mats on the floor, at least 3 men (1 being my husband) stretched the skin, while Isaiah tapped gracefully along the designed path. Others, however, were massaging Juniors big arms, pushing pressure points in his back, and feet... and when I got home later, and thought about it... it reminded me of birth.
It reminded me of birth, because of the faint similarities. The tattoo artist was the midwife, the stretchers the midwives assistants and the people massaging and bringing comfort, would be the doulas. The outcome lacking baby of course would be the completed pe'a which is far from done.. and Junior will undergo further pain to complete it. Yet, he'll be surrounded by people who love and care for him. This is one of my favorite things about the birthing experience... a laboring woman surrounded by loving arms.
It was touching to see these large masculine males caring and comforting their friend. After all, they could have just let him be a man, and get through it by himself. But they didn't. They had enormous amounts of compassion for him.
It was a unique experience, and having birth experience, my own and as a doula, I found I looked at it differently than most people might. I even found myself resisting the urge to help bring comfort. To massage, or help with visualization.. (though I think Junior would have thought I was crazy!).. but what I really learned from this was that I truly AM a doula.
I think it's interesting that this came to me at Samoan ceremony of sorts ... but there it is just the same.
Comparing experience
Last night my husband and kids went to a friends house to visit, and watch Junior get his pe'a traditionally tapped (tattooed using primitive tools).
Samoan contemporary music played loudly in the background. Juniors wife Ulu brought food to the men as they laughed and concentrated all at once. All the men were sitting on mats on the floor, at least 3 men (1 being my husband) stretched the skin, while Isaiah tapped gracefully along the designed path. Others, however, were massaging Juniors big arms, pushing pressure points in his back, and feet... and when I got home later, and thought about it... it reminded me of birth.
It reminded me of birth, because of the faint similarities. The tattoo artist was the midwife, the stretchers the midwives assistants and the people massaging and bringing comfort, would be the doulas. The outcome lacking baby of course would be the completed pe'a which is far from done.. and Junior will undergo further pain to complete it. Yet, he'll be surrounded by people who love and care for him. This is one of my favorite things about the birthing experience... a laboring woman surrounded by loving arms.
It was touching to see these large masculine males caring and comforting their friend. After all, they could have just let him be a man, and get through it by himself. But they didn't. They had enormous amounts of compassion for him.
It was a unique experience, and having birth experience, my own and as a doula, I found I looked at it differently than most people might. I even found myself resisting the urge to help bring comfort. To massage, or help with visualization.. (though I think Junior would have thought I was crazy!).. but what I really learned from this was that I truly AM a doula.
I think it's interesting that this came to me at Samoan ceremony of sorts ... but there it is just the same.
